542 words
[Prien]
6 September 1982
Dearest Beryl,
Very hearty thanks for the 3 books, received to-day. A pity two of them came in such a state: patched up with plastic paper, one especially. Did they come to you like that or were they damaged on the way [from] Munich [to] Prien? Anyhow, I am most grateful to have them. (I had not one left.) And I thank you immensely.
Keep the cat book, as, like I, you love purrers. It is an extra link between us. I have the photocopy now anyhow. One day — not now — but one day when you have time, what I should also like is a good photocopy of Impeachment of Man with its beautiful tiger portrait, and one of Joy of the Sun with its two coloured portraits of King Akhnaton (do they come out in colour? If not, let them be in black and white). But there is no hurry. I’d just like to have them for reprint in U.S.A. or elsewhere, when possible.
I should never have the bother of “decorators” in a flat of mine. Much rather go without any “decoration”! My flat in New Delhi where I lived for 10 years, was never either re-whitewashed or touched — save the floor washed every day and the cobwebs, whenever any, removed. My landlord wanted to redo it. I always refused on account of my “peace of mind.” This year it was redone for the new tenants (going away early next year). I’ll be glad to have it again if I can ever go back to India — I want to die there, but often feel that perhaps I shall die sooner — before going back. My eyes are getting dimmer and dimmer. Still I want to speak to our U.S.A. comrades as long as I have a breath of life in me. And then die — as far away as possible from doctors and their silly “help,” hospitals, and old women’s homes, by myself, undisturbed in my corner, like an old animal.
Frau Asmus believes in her innocence that she could have brought me back to health had I, already in India (as she used to write to me) eaten nothing but “roh Kost” — which I did not of course. Now in her eyes, fried — brown, crisp potatoes (“chips”) and of course coffee are “poison.” Her “conscience” refuses her to allow me to cook anything according to my own taste. And she expected to cure me at once if only I would give up my “negative thinking” and work myself up into believing that I can overcome anything including destruction of retinal cells and sight nerve by “positive thinking” — according to a book she had given me, Metaphysicshe Heilung [Metaphysical Healing] — to me all this is naïve “wishful thinking” and all bunkum.
As she herself has to go, she is leaving me tomorrow for a fortnight at
Familie Skupro [?]
Oberlandstrße 3
D-3440 Eschwege
Then I hope to go via Switzerland, Paris, and England, to U.S.A. Hope I’ll not fall into the “care” of any more over kind hearted health cranks there — with one foot in my grave, let me at least eat what I like and sip my Greek coffee at breakfast.
Do write to me soon!
With all thanks and love,
Yours,
Savitri